The Terrible Trifecta

1. He's teething.
2. He's jealous.
3. He's two.

And so the world seems to be a terrible place for our little Spike these days. During a recent crying-jag (due to a drop of a hat, or something similar), I peeked in Isaac's wide-open mouth and saw four jagged, white peaks cutting through red, swollen flesh. Ouch. That can't be helping my boy's mood much.

We also recently SUCCESSFULLY (Hallelujah!) transitioned Isaac to a toddler bed! What this transition means, though, is that Little Brother is suddenly taking over Spike's old crib. While Jealousy has not reared its ugly, green-eyed head in Spike's behavior toward his brother (thank goodness), it has come out in other related ways. Any time Anders gets attention, Isaac does a song and dance to get it back on him. For example....

When Anders laughs and we say, "Aww, are you laughing?" Isaac chimes in with a boisterous, "HA HA! HA HA!"

When Anders cries, Isaac makes as much noise as possible, usually via high-pitched screams.

Isaac lays down on the floor, acts like a baby (which usually entails whimpering and kicking his feet), and says, "Momma wanna pick you up?"

He's also crying at the slightest disappointment and acting like a total wild man around other kids. I actually sent my friend and her two kids home early last week because Isaac was being so bad while they were here. I was beyond embarrassed when he threw his cup and it bounced off his little friend's head into the mom's face.

It's hard being a two year old. It's harder being two year old's momma. Isaac can be so sweet but he can also get into moods where nothing we do can make him behave.

I'm trying to be proactive: I give him lots of positive encouragement for good behavior, engage him in things he's good at and enjoys, provide ways for him to interact with Anders that are helpful and gentle, shower him with Momma love and affection, give him room to make "big boy" decisions rather than dictating everything he does, etc. Those things make an observable difference, but they take time, perspective, motivation, positivity, and energy that I don't always have.

The hardest part about this stage is where other people are involved. I want other people to think I'm a good mom, and I want them to think Isaac is a good kid, but more importantly, I want Isaac to be a good kid with others! Nobody wants to pick up her son from the church nursery to reports of him having trouble sharing or hitting other kids.

Being a stay-at-home-mom, Isaac is my job. If he's not doing well, it's difficult to feel like I'm doing a good job. I feel very much like he is a reflection of me, a product of my work, but as I was reminded this morning in a very encouraging moms' group, Isaac is a person, an individual, and I cannot control him with the "right" parenting. All I can do is respond to who he is and try to guide him toward kinder behavior.

And in the meantime...pray, pray, and pray.