Poison Pants

When I came home from the salon yesterday, Isaac wasn't wearing any pants. This is a pretty regular occurrence when Daddy's home alone with the boy. Changing a dirty diaper AND putting pants on? That is just too much to ask.

I put Isaac's pants on and played with him for awhile. It was about 4:45 and he usually eats cereal and veggies around 5, so when he started fussing, I thought he was hungry. As I made his dinner, Daddy had to play with him to keep him from whining, which is not really normal.

Soon his fussing became more urgent. At first I thought he was wild with hunger--when he was sitting on my lap he was throwing himself horizontal and turning his head toward his milk source. I tried to put him in his high chair and that is when he really freaked out. Fussing became crying. When I tried to give him his first bite of cereal, he took it, but then really started screaming.

Of course my mother-trying-to-read-her-baby thought process set in. In the span of about 5 seconds, my mind raced through: Is he starving? He usually eats around this time without getting so overwhelmed by hunger. Does he have a dirty diaper? He rarely even whimpers when he's wearing a poopy diaper; I can't imagine he'd start shrieking like a banshee. Is he tired? It's not even close to nap or bedtime, and he took pretty decent naps today. Is he teething? He's not trying to chew on anything and it doesn't seem to help when I rub his gums. Even the magic mimi (pacifier) wouldn't calm him down.

Ruling out all the normal fuss-inducing phenomena, I realized, This is something totally different. I started with the not-so-normal questions. Is he sick? If he's sick, maybe he's hungry but doesn't want to eat solids. He was rooting around....So I tried to nurse him. That worked for about 20 seconds.

Soon Isaac's cries became all out screams. I sat him upright on my lap to look at him. His face was tomato red, tears were streaming down his cheeks, his high-pitched cry was piercing my ear drums, and I had no idea what to do. This was definitely an "I'm in pain!" cry. He put his hands on my face and headbutted me like he does when he's snuggling. I interpreted it as: "Mommy! Do something!"

I finally decided to start removing clothes. Off came the socks. Toes still in tact. Off came the pants. Legs are still there. Off came the diaper. Well, it is poopy, but not enough to make him scream so hard.

And then he stopped. All of the sudden, Isaac stopped shrieking and smiled at me. Then he started making his happy babbly noises. What? Changing his diaper did THAT? He has NEVER cried so hard about a poopy diaper... Weird.

For some reason I didn't put his pants back on him. He stayed totally calm after that. He ate a good dinner and then it was time for a bath.

Once I put Izey in the tub, I saw clear as day why he had been screaming so hard. Not only did he have a significant diaper rash, but all down the back of his legs and up his lower back there were patches of itchy-looking red bumps. He was wearing POISON PANTS!!

I'm not sure why his pants gave him hives--it's possible that he's having a reaction to Granini's laundry detergent--but we were sure to burn them. OK, not really. We are washing the clothes that were washed in Minnesota, though. We put him in jammies that had been washed at home and by morning he was all cleared up, ruling out an allergic reaction to a new food.

The moral of the story is...if your baby starts crying, get him naked fast! That's what I'm going to do from now on.