Monday, June 30, 2008

Bittersweet Freedom

Posted by Kate D at 2:23 PM

I've been slowly but surely weaning Isaac for almost two months now. At his first birthday he was nursing 4 times a day--in the morning, after nap 1, after nap 2, and before bed. The plan was to drop one feeding per week for 4 weeks.

But then he got sick. and then he got sick again. and then he got sick again.

Mommas of the world understand--you don't want to take something comforting away from a sick baby.

So as of yesterday, Isaac was down to just nursing before bed. I sat down with him at bed time thinking, "This is probably going to be my last time nursing him." I had nursed him for literally 30 seconds when he pushed himself to sitting up and pointed to his mimi. So I gave it to him. Then he pointed to his books. So we read some. Then he went to bed sans tummy-full-of-breastmilk.

Now, I have been ready to have my boobs back to myself for a few weeks now, but I have also very much enjoyed nursing my baby these past 13 months. So when Isaac was fine without that little nightcap last night, I had very mixed emotions about it. "Maybe this is going to be easier than I thought," and "He must be ready," and "I'm free!" on the one hand. "My baby doesn't need me anymore," and "My baby's not a baby anymore," on the other. My eyes brimmed with tears for a moment, but I think the former feelings are winning out.

I've got to say, I'm pretty darn proud of me and my boobs and all we've accomplished this year. I mean, have you seen this kid?

3 comments:

  1. David and Karen DanielsonJuly 7, 2008 at 6:48 AM

    You should be proud. Nursing is much more than just physical sustenance. It's an attitude of nurturing and a relationship. When you feel that way about it, it's also a foundation. Sure, physically, but more important, you set the tone by being close, communicating, being part of the rhythm of his days. That doesn't go away.

    I remember vividly the last time I nursed Isaac's daddy, and I had many of the same conflicting emotions.

    K

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  2. MelissaJuly 7, 2008 at 8:42 AM

    What a great post, Kate. I can't relate because I'm not a mom, but I appreciate your honesty.

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  3. Meg DanielJuly 7, 2008 at 6:42 PM

    You have hit the nail on the head, my dear. Nursing for the last time is unbelievably bittersweet. Looking at Sofia now and thinking back on the foundation that we created during those special times each day makes me proud - as I'm sure you will see with Isaac quickly - to see her independence grow each and every day.

    ...and besides...wearing pretty bras is way more fun. :)

    Love to you and see you next Friday!
    Meg

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