Weight Lifted

I have not been doing well with the whole February thing. Those who know me best know that this kinda happens every year. I've been going a little crazy being cooped up in our little condo and there has been more than one day that Zach gets home from work to a wife who desperately needs a break from her son. Isaac is a good, easy, and happy baby, but there's only so much time a gal can spend crawling around the same carpet, reading the same Sandra Boynton board books, picking up the same stale cheerios....

We went on our church's annual retreat last weekend. This was our 7th year attending it. It's in Wisconsin at a Christian conference center. It was so great to be out of the house, out of the city and around other people. Every year I go on a long hike with or without Zach; that's where our snowy hike pictures came from. One year I got lost and ended up being out much longer than I intended, but I didn't care. It's so beautiful there--the lake is frozen over and dotted with ice shanties, the road is lined with a little, stone, snow-covered wall, the prayer towers we climb give views of rolling hills and forest blanketed in undisturbed white. We were really blessed with a cold but sunny day for our hike this year. We saw deer and the reddest of cardinals. Isaac loved it. The smile on his face in those pictures is basically how he looked for the whole hour we were out. He's just like his momma, gotta be outdoors.

While the retreat was an awesome break from the day-to-day life of this stay-at-home momma, when we got back, it was the same ol', same ol' and I didn't have a very good week. I know that getting out of the house more is one way to combat the general yuckiness I'm feeling. Part of the problem, though, is that being in grad school means that I have lots o' homework to do during the day. I need to be home doing reading and writing as much as I can, so taking Izey to museums and play dates feels like something that should be done only after homework is turned in.

Last week particularly sucked because in my current state I allowed myself to get behind in school. I had to turn in a rough draft of my Literature Review for my research project on February 14, but I still wasn't done with it by the 21st. I was really paralyzed by how big the whole thing felt and had a very difficult time making real progress. I talked to my research coach and he was fine with me turning it in late, so I just kept chipping away at it as often as I could.

This past weekend proved to be (I HOPE!) a turning point in my mood. Zach invited some friends over on Friday night to celebrate my birthday and it was great to have some low-key people whom I can totally be myself around come to share food from Yes Thai (yummy!) and watch a funny movie. Then Liz and Peter kept us up until after 1 am (can't remember the last time I did that!) talking about baby stuff (they are expecting a little girl around March 31!). On Saturday we got Spike's 9 month pics taken by Melissa (check out these pics she took of her friend's wedding!) And on Sunday we went to church, all three of us went to the grocery store together, and the best part--I pretty much finished my literature review! Hallelujah! I still have to edit and write a quick conclusion, but I never thought I would get to this point. It is 20 pages long--definitely the longest thing I've ever written. I feel like such a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

This week is going to be busy, but my "to do" list is full of things that I'm really excited about. My parents are coming next weekend and it has been way too long since we saw them, so I have some cleaning to do before they get here. On Sunday we're throwing Liz a baby shower, so I have some things to do to make that day special, and now homework doesn't feel like a monster that is going to swallow me whole. Totally do-able.

Plus, February--nasty, gray, icey, snowy, slushy, yucky February--is almost over. March may be coming in like a lion, but I feel in my bones like Spring (oh glorious Spring!) is just around the corner.