Anna Dahl

Our friends Nate and Lisa got some pretty horrible news this morning regarding their daughter's neuroblastoma treatment, which began last February. Please pray for them and for little Anna. Their faith throughout the gut-wrenching process has been humbling and inspiring.

You can read regular updates on their Caring Bridge blog. Here's the most recent entry from Nate:

My phone rang around 11 AM. The Caller ID read Children's Hospital, so I answered it, thinking I would be speaking with Lisa.

"Hi, is this Mr Dahl? This is Dr Messinger. I'm afraid I have bad news."

Over the next 15 minutes, he downloaded that news along with the few options we still have available.

The news is this: her marrow biopsy results came back positive, indicating the cancer is back in her marrow. The MIBG and Bone Scans were both confirmed by the MRI. The marrow used for the biopsy was taken from her rear pelvis bones and showed only trace amounts of cancer. The concentration in her thigh is much higher.

He relayed to me that this is not good news. He then told me that although we have options available, each has a low likelihood of success and that if we opted to do nothing, no one would question our decision and would work to make her a comfortable as possible.

Fighting back tears I asked a couple of questions that I can't even remember. I then informed my boss that I had to leave. I drove. I cried. I screamed. I pled Anna's case before her Maker. I sat in silence. I wept. I questioned.

When I reached the hospital, the nurses had taken Anna to allow Lisa some private time in the room. Anna was having fun learning about new candy while Lisa and I cried and talked.

If either of us considered doing nothing, it wasn't considered very long. Perhaps we're stupid or stubborn, naive, misguided, or hopeful. Whatever the case, we want to do what we can to choose life for Anna. Perhaps we are just being selfish. In fact, I know I am. Death for her would mean freedom from tests and pain and fear. Of course, that is the case for any believer. But her death would leave us without her.

We are beginning cycle 7 of chemotherapy tomorrow. She will be given two new drugs (I will relay their names tomorrow) in the hope that no resistance has been established. We will then do more scans to see what results were achieved. We would then wait (potentially until October) to go to San Francisco for high level MIBG radiation treatment. This follows the same concept as her MIBG scan, except that the dosage will much higher. So high, in fact, that on the day of the infusion, Lisa and I will each only be able to spend 15 minutes in the room with her. She will be sequestered behind a lead shield for the duration of the treatment. We will need to be available to provide for her care, but she will be alone the majority of the time. Each day, our time with her will increase, by how much, we do not know.

I have no idea how to account for this turn of events. I have no idea how this fits into God's will. I would like to know, but if I can learn anything from Job, will not demand an answer. I don't have the right...but I also don't have an answer.

NLAZ