ANOTHER Very Special Gift

I took Hilda to the Ark on Wednesday night. When she came down to the car, she motioned for me to pull up and roll down the window. She handed me a plastic bag and said, "That's for you and your hubby."
"What is it?" I said.
"A chicken. A whole one. That's a whole kosher chicken. It's frozen."
"Why are you giving me a whole kosher frozen chicken?"
"Because you're sweet!" she said angrily.
"Oh wow. Thank you, Hilda. That was very nice of you," I responded.
"You have to thaw it and cook it and eat it. And enjoy it," she instructed.
"I will!"
I have never cooked anything but boneless skinless chicken breasts. I don't think I've even seen a whole raw chicken before--except for the ones with feathers and, well, heads.

Hilda had asked me to also pick up her "lady friend." I said I would, and I asked her, "What's your friend's name?"
"Beth. She's a b*tch." Hilda told me.
"Oh wow, OK."
"What did I say?" Hilda laughed.

When we got to the corner, we didn't see Beth. Hilda asked me to dial her number on my cell phone. I did and then handed her the phone.
"Where in the hell are you?" Hilda shouted. (Keep in mind that poor Isaac was in the back seat.) Apparently Beth replied that she was on the corner of Howard and Lincoln.
"You're full of sh*t!" Hilda yelled, "We're on the corner of Howard and Lincoln and we don't see you. Now where in the hell are you?"
Soon we found Beth, who was very nice, and I said to Hilda, "You have such language today, Hilda!" She ignored me.