We're a Family

In the past 8 months, there have been a few moments when I suddenly am struck by the fact that Zach and I are parents now and life will never be the same. They're the kind of moments when something really little and simple hits you hard. It's not like the idea that we are now parents is a surprise or new; it's just that sometimes you realize the weightiness of it.

The first one I can remember was a few weeks after Isaac was born. He was sleeping in his crib and Zach and I were climbing into bed. On my nightstand sat a small but potent reminder that we now have a baby--it was a mimi (pacifier). On my nightstand. My nightstand had previously been a place for the books I was reading or the chapstick I'm addicted to or other things one might need in the (ah hem) bedroom. Now there was this little thing there saying, "You are now the kind of person who has mimis laying around the house. You, Kate Danielson, are a mommy."

Another such moment came at Christmas time when I was wrapping a present for Spike. I suddenly realized that I had to write who this gift was from and who it was to. I wrote, "To Isaac David, Love, Mommy and Daddy." Weird! I showed it to Zach, "Look what I wrote on this package!" I thought he might be like, "Yeah, what about it?" but he totally got it. "Oh my gosh," he said, "we're Mommy and Daddy!"

Similar experiences have occurred when packing a little suitcase, folding baby socks, or realizing that I have to plan for Isaac to come with us places--like our church retreat coming up in February. I also still can't get over the fact that Isaac's last name is Danielson. He's such a little person--what does he need a last name for? It seems like such an adult thing to have a last name. Isaac will be called Mr. (or Dr. or Rev.) Danielson some day. Weird.

The other morning it happened again. Zach was leaving for work and I was (sleepily) cheering for Isaac as he scooted around the living room floor. Zach gave us both kisses and said, "I love you guys," before he walked out the door.

You guys. Plural. He loves both of us. We're a whole family now. Never to be just a couple again. It's cool. It makes me feel very permanent and somehow more significant, like I'm a part of something greater than myself.