Leaving Lowe's

For the first time today, I had to leave a shopping cart full of stuff I wanted to buy in the middle of an aisle while I dragged my disobedient son out of the store. Here's how it went down...

I went to Lowe's to get some plants for a little patio space I'm creating out behind our building (I'll post pics when it's done). I had Anders sleeping happily in the Baby Bjorn front pack and Isaac was sitting in the seat of the cart. I picked out two big hanging baskets and put them in the cart. Isaac proceeded to pick large chunks of the flowers out of the basket.

"Oh, honey, please don't pick the flowers. We want them to stay nice. Look over here! Aren't these flowers (that you can't reach) pretty?"

Isaac continued to pick the flowers.

"Isaac, honey, do not pick the flowers. Listen to Momma, please."

Isaac continued to pick the flowers.

"Isaac!" anger welled up in my throat. I placed his hands on the cart with mine over them. He avoided my eyes and kept a shit-eating grin on his little face.

What are my options here? There's nowhere else to put him, I have nothing else to entertain him, I can't move the flowers any farther away from him...

"Isaac, if you pick the flowers again, we're going to have to go sit in the car." As soon as I let go of his hands, he was at it again.

"Alright, Let's go."

I took him out of the cart, which was no small task with Anders in the front pack, tucked my diaper bag under my arm, and led him quickly by the hand through the flower department and through the store toward the exit. The hand I wasn't holding he stuck straight out to his side, trying to touch everything we passed by. Soon he decided it would be fun to refuse to continue to walk. Every few steps, he dropped to his knees. He was having a grand ol' time throughout the ordeal.

"Isaac, stand up."

We walked a few more steps, and down he went again.

"Isaac, walk like a big boy."

I guess he'd rather not.

"Isaac, are you going to walk like a big boy, or do I need to carry you?"

Soon I got my answer to that question. Trying to keep my cool (as well as my baby asleep in the front pack!) I heaved my very heavy two year old off of the floor near the registers (placement is very important, you know--gotta have the biggest possible number of people watching this scene), and carried him, the diaper bag, and the baby out to the car.

I put Isaac in his car seat and buckled the chest but not the crotch of his seat belt. Then I closed the door and stood next to the car for his two minute time out.

In about a minute and a half, Isaac (who was still smiling) had squirmed out of the seat belt and was trying to climb to the front seat. I grabbed him, put him back in his seat, and fastened both buckles.

"Isaac, you are going to sit here until you have a two minute time out."

He started squirming again, and when he realized he wasn't getting out this time, his smile finally faded. He looked at me through the car window and said, "Momma, I am stuck!"

I nodded. That's the point, kiddo.

Then the tears began. I let him scream for two minutes while I smiled at other innocent bystanders who were making their ways to their drama-free cars. After the two minutes were up, I opened the door and said, "Okay, Isaac, you're all done. If you can stop crying we'll go back in the store."

He stopped.

"Can you say sorry to Momma?"

"Sowy, Momma."

"Can you say 'No more picking flowers'?"

"No more pickin' flowers."

"Okay, give me a hug. Let's go."

I got Isaac out of the car seat and took his hand to lead him back to the store, feeling victorious and expecting great behavior.

And then he laid down in the parking lot.

AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I did not get to buy my flowers today.